Sunday, January 30, 2011

Island Man Voted Into Coffee Hall Of Fame


The Turnip
New Dundas, PEI
January 30, 2011

When the phone rang on Friday morning, New Dundas resident, Angus Kaldi, had a good feeling.

"I just knew this would be my year," beamed Kaldi, a 72-year-old retired electrician.

Indeed. The fateful call came from Sophie Noisette, commissioner of the Coffee Hall of Fame, who congratulated Kaldi on his induction into the venerable "shrine of Java", ending years of controversy.

"We recognize Mr. Kaldi's wonderful career. With 53,000+ career double-doubles and 2,400 playoff cups of black, there is no question that he deserves this honour. Combine that with recent experimentation with boutique world blends, and we are pleased to move forward," said Noisette, making a oblique reference to an incident in 2003.

In January of that year, Kaldi ended his streak of 991 consecutive morning cups of joe, just 14 shy of the all-time record. Stuck in a drive-thru line for more than 4 hours, his truck ran out of gas, and he refused to enter the shop. "No one ever mentions it was -37 C windchill," bristled Kaldi. "It was a damned cold day! But all that is in the past now."

Kaldi hopes to attend the induction ceremony, held in Montreal in April. He awaits the advice of his doctors, who have expressed concern that his resting heart-rate is 125 bpm.

[Photo credit: iStockPhoto]

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Local Hockey Tilt Marred By Bench-Clearing 'Rock, Paper, Scissors'

The Turnip
January 11, 2011
Milford, Prince Edward Island

Fans, players, and even officials were stunned last night at a match between the New Dundas Double-Doubles and the Milford Mould, of the Red Rock Recreational Hockey League.

The Mould led the Double-Doubles 3-2, in a gritty, tense battle, when two enforcers collided at center ice. In the heat of the moment, the players dropped the gloves, but remembered harsh new suspension guidelines instituted by the League, and spontaneously went to Rock, Paper, Scissors.

Mould forward Ernest Geoffrion won the skirmish with a classic choice of scissors. Afterwards, the loser, Double-Double defenceman Pete Morenz, could not be consoled, "I know, in my head, that scissors are a slight statistical favourite, but his eyes told me he was thinking 'rock'."



Before officials could regain control, players spilled onto the ice, pairing up and repeatedly yelling "1,2,3 Go!". Most fans watched in horror at the scene before them, though 14-year-old Clint Benedict enjoyed the fracas, claiming, "Tomorrow, I'm totally going to skip class and read up on game theory."

The melee continued for 30 minutes before order was restored. Today, the league commissioner could not be reached for comment.