The Turnip
Milford, PEI
June 6, 2011
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| "Not a veggie, fruit, or grooming product within 100m" |
Following the success of its popular "Family-friendly" checkout lane, an Island grocery store unveiled another dedicated checkout today: one aimed at single, unshaven men wearing gym pants.
Joe Trader, manager of Farmer's Harvest in Milford, made the announcement, saying "Our recent polls have shown that a significant percentage of our customers are single men wearing gym pants and sporting 3-day stubble. We're excited to tailor this checkout lane to serve their needs".
Trader described the checkout lane as being 'loaded for this demographic', offering: Maxim and MMA magazines, Pro-Line tickets, beef jerky, and a special 'bar-freezer' containing all known varieties of Hot Pockets. Trader beamed, "there isn't a vegetable, fruit, or grooming product within 100 metres of this checkout. For these guys, it's in and out."
Taylor O'Doucette, a 31-year-old single, unshaven accountant who wears gym pants while shopping at Farmer's Harvest, greeted the news with a mixed reaction: "Well it's definitely a cool lane to shop, but I can't help but wonder if they are trying to get me out of here. I sorta like hanging out in the produce section, asking women for their advice on melons and 'taters'."
Trader dismissed the concern, stressing that his store is simply innovating. "We're planning a special 10% discount on Saturday evenings for any single, unshaven men wearing gym pants and a Toronto Maple Leafs ball cap."
