Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Roundabout Group Ponders Confederation Bridge

The Turnip
Charlottetown, PEI
December 29, 2010

A group of local roundabout enthusiasts held its inaugural meeting today, setting a promotional campaign for 2011 that includes the Confederation Bridge.

The Beneficent Roundabout Association (BRA) is organized by Frank Blackmore. "For many years, fans of traffic junctions just didn't have a voice on Prince Edward Island. But with PEI's recent ventures into efficient civil design, it is a pleasure to announce our new alliance."

Blackmore went on, "The danger is getting bogged down in old issues such as the 'One Metre Truck Apron Debate'. While important, BRA's focus will be larger in scope: job creation, the environment and efficiency".

To those ends, BRA's lobbying campaign aims big for 2011: twin roundabouts on the Confederation Bridge.

Artist rendition of Confederation Roundabouts.

Blackmore beamed, "If we can get government buy-in, the employment opportunities are vast. And the efficiency! If you forget your double-double before getting on the Bridge, you can turn back at the 1/3rd mark."

However, the proposal already has its critics: pundits wonder if the planning is merely circular logic. Meanwhile, several truckers ask if the roundabouts will be open to high-sided vehicles.

Blackmore dismisses the detractors: "Our time has come. Roundabouts are the future and BRA will uphold them."

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Charlottetown's Crows To Hold Christmas Concert

The Turnip
Charlottetown, PEI
December 16, 2010

A spokesperson for Charlottetown's large crow population announced today that the birds will offer a free Christmas concert, in an attempt to repair relations with city residents.

"The crows concede that they have overstayed their welcome in the past," said Edgar Nevermore, event organizer.

"We are extending a holiday olive branch," said Nevermore, holding a large twig that appeared to be from a white birch.

"We hope that in the spirit of the season, citizens of Charlottetown will join us in setting aside our mutual differences, and enjoy an early morning of song. We hope to build towards a meaningful dialogue in 2011."

The concert will be held at 4:45 am, December 22nd, at Victoria Park.

Prior to the show, the crows will accept requests for classic Christmas carols, though they decline to sing "Silent Night", due to a conflict of interest. Concert-goers are welcome to donate carrion at volunteer stations.

[Photo credit: iStockPhoto]