Town Celebrates 100th Pothole

The Turnip

New Dundas, PEI

March 29, 2011

Embracing the spring weather, and wishing Old Man Winter a not-so-fond farewell, New Dundas honoured the town's 100th pothole with a ribbon-cutting ceremony. The function opened a week of festivities, Pothole Days, celebrating both pleasant temperatures and the annual fatigue of road surfaces, leading to the iconic traffic hazard.  

Nate O'Doucette, mayor of New Dundas, officiated the proceedings: "Our town council is delighted to participate in Pothole Days. We've planned several events, and encourage families to come out and take part in the activities."

Events include a costume contest for children, jarring hay-wagon rides, and a sweet confection known as the sticky blacktop, a chocolate treat whose texture is reminiscent of asphalt, the highly viscous semi-solid found in most crude petroleum.

The week-long festival culminates in the Pothole Parade, generously sponsored by RePete's Auto, a local wheel-alignment and suspension shop.

[Photo credit A, Photo credit B]

Piping Plovers Plan Procreation In 3D

The Turnip

Blackbeard Island, Georgia

March 8, 2011

A group of Piping Plovers announced today that they plan to present the 2011 breeding season in 3D. 

Looking tanned and well-rested on the coast of Georgia, Pepper, a 3-year-old female shorebird, spoke on behalf of the group. "Between the lovely summers, and laidback pace, PEI is a great spot to raise a family. Combine that with strong conservation efforts, and we decided to give something back: our upcoming season will appear in rich, high-def 3D".

The announcement culminates months of planning between the birds, local nature groups, and high-end binocular manufacturers.

The birds' season will feature courtship displays, adorable chicks, and the occasional broken-wing display, all in a crisp resolution that approximates IMAX 3D, widely considered the gold-standard by technophiles.

Pepper beamed, "This is a fantastic marketing opportunity to move beyond our ornithologist base. If we can lure home theatre enthusiasts off the couch, and out onto closely-supervised viewing patrols, it's a win-win."

[Photo credit: Wikipedia]