Monday, January 23, 2012

Sir John A. Statue Speaks Out Against Bully Buses

"a deliberate, pugnacious conspiracy"
The Turnip
Charlottetown
January 23, 2012

Shortly after a near-miss with a runaway bus, Charlottetown's statue of Sir John A. MacDonald spoke out at a rare press conference today, decrying a 'campaign of tyranny' by sentient city buses against urban art.

Donning head protection, the bronze sculpture of "The Old Chieftain" used a savvy mix of political opportunism and the shrewd debating style that helped shape the nation's history. The effigy put forth a compelling argument that two runaway bus incidents, mere days apart, could hardly be coincidence:

"I'm a lure for tourism, not bullies."
"Using Occam's razor, we must conclude that those treasonous, mercenary vehicles have entered, of their own volition, a deliberate conspiracy, by force, by fraud, or by both, to force urban art into the Confederation Centre."

Across the street, Bluefin Bullet, a life-size sculpture of a Bluefin tuna, covered in scales made from stainless-steel spoons,  applauded Sir John A. statue's stance.

"We've lived in fear for some time now, but that last accident was truly terrifying. Urban art exhibits are people, too, and someone has to put the brakes on this movement."

"This is the last spike."
In a display of solidarity, Hydrant, a pop-art, oversized fireplug on St. Peters Road, also sported emergency head-gear.  Though unable to attend the media event, the fiesty installation piece announced the support of the city's fire engines, in the event that the situation escalates, claiming via 2-way radio, "We nearly lost Sir John A. This is the last spike."

5 comments:

  1. this is amazing... I was sitting on that bench last saturday..err..Sunday morning at 2:05 am ( after the bars closed ) and had a similar conversation with him... he was really upset ... kept screaming "conspiracy" and "long life art...and my beer at the gahan house"

    He also mentioned something about the pigeon problem in the city and the evils of "jazz" music

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  2. That fish just looked like it had something to say...

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  3. I saw it, I saw it happen! Did not get the licence plate number but I saw a violin in the back seat and there was a "Boycott Anne Of Green Gables" bumper sticker on the back bumper of the car. Ummm, does anyone know if there is a reward for information leading to an arrest?

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  4. I had the opportunity to actually be the model for Sir MacDonald in the sculpture. mike Halterman, the artist (www.mikehalterman.com) needed someone to wear the period clothes so he could get the bench and pants folds down correctly. We rented a costume and then he took a lot of pictures. Once that was done, we crafted the piece in clay using period pictures as well. It then was turned into the sculpture. I was fortunate to have a chance to see it before it was shipped off.

    Great piece. Look on Mike's website for even more wonderful stuff. The man is truly gifted.

    Alan Churchill

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  5. sorry: *HE crafted the piece in clay.

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