Local Bar Heats Up Over Curling Dispute

The Turnip

Milford, PEI

February 17, 2011

Local police were called to a bar in Milford, last night, when a debate over the "best female second of all-time" turned ugly.

According to staff of "The Extra End", bar patrons were anxiously anticipating the upcoming Scotties, the Canadian women's national championship. "Early in the evening, people were having fun, swapping stories," said bartender Jamie O'Doucette. "But as the evening wore on, after some drinks, they started comparing the all-time greats, and things got pretty intense."

The primary bone of contention was the all-time best "second", the player who typically throws the 3rd and 4th rocks, and sweeps for all other players. 

Patrons divided into two factions: one favoured Jill Officer, current second for the defending 2010 champions; while others backed Joyce McKee, member of winning squads in 1961, 1969, and a dazzling 3-year run from '71 to '73. 

Said one bystander, only identified as 'Tim': "I don't condone violence, but McKee has my vote. She was a pioneer for women's curling, joining the Hub City Men's League in 1952. She's a member of five freaking championship teams, from a bygone era that was a damn sight tougher than today's posh rinks. The ice in '69 was just impossible."

Countered another, "A legend, yes, but McKee was skip in '61 and '69. Hello? We are talking about second stone here. Officer has 4 Canadian titles and a World title. They don't call her queen of the peel-weight takeout for nothing. Have these people even set foot in a rink?"

Police and bar staff restored order by airing a re-run of Colleen Jones' 2001 World Championship victory on several large-screen televisions. No charges will be laid.